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    June 22

    走来走去的日子

    在北方云游10天归来,直接投入苏州无边无际的闷热天气之中。习惯了爽朗的北方口音,再听这些南方小调,就觉得很可笑。
    但是也明白,一地有一地的风景。学会了真正的宽容才能真正接受所有放在面前的事物,喜欢的抑或是讨厌的,对心情也不会太有影响。
    回来了就直接生病,现在的症状是咳嗽。漂泊的久了,有点想家。但是也明白,家只是个避风港,总不能一直躲在港湾里不去远航。
    其实有时候也蛮佩服自己的,连续10天的行走,每天早出晚归。在路上的我,很幸福,也很有动力。即使很多时候我只是一个人,但看到城市里来来往往的人群,就觉得我并不孤单。
    当然我也知道,完全靠自己的独立生存是多么的艰难。
    在北京时住在表姐家,我总觉得我们一直没有断联系,但是她说我们已经2年没见面了,我想了想,的确如此。姐姐变了,成熟了很多,很会照顾人,我在她身边就好像什么事情都不用担心,总有人把我安排得很妥当。一个人在北京漂泊的时候,姐姐也总发短信询问我到哪里了,什么时候回家。亲人毕竟是很不一样。放在以前,我还很难想象,这样一个独立的新女性,对生活的方方面面,却都是那么细心。也许这就是独立生活的人的改变。突然就感觉虽然只比她小1岁,但却幼稚了很多。她对很多事情的看法,的确是比我透彻很多。真是很喜欢这种自信爽朗的大女人性格。
    我总是觉得自己跟这个社会还隔着不止一层的屏障。很多人已经初涉社会的时候,自己却还很安于这样的现状。未来究竟会是怎样,我现在一点都不知晓。我倒真想如一个学姐说的,清楚自己想要什么,不被周围的浮躁所影响。
    日复一日,方向会自己清晰的吧。我愿意相信。

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